At this point in my life my only experience at raising anything with a personality has been with my little dog Tinkerbell. She is a 3.5 lb Pomeranian and she certainly is full of personality. This weekend we took her to the dog park because the weather was so nice, and I was reminded yet again that my little girl is a bit of a sissy. I am totally in denial when I take her to the dog park because most of the time she is either roaming the perimeter by herself, or scratching my leg to get picked up. Basically she’d be just as happy at home on the couch….ahhhh a girl after my own heart! But see that’s the problem. I really don’t want my future kids to be like that. I want my kid to be outgoing and social. Not the kid that hangs on to mommy’s pant legs. I know I baby my dog, but does that mean I’ll baby my kid? Do you think there is any correlation to raising a dog vs. raising a kid?
It’s hard to understand for some, but my dog is really a part of our family. For now she is our child. She has been my baby for over five years. I don’t activly try to make her have attachment issues, but as it turns out she truly does. But she is my best friend so I will admit that I have attachment issues with leaving her too. People laugh and tell my that my future children are going to have issues, and if I have a boy I will make him a wuss, but I resent that. Do you really think my “parenting skills” will be similar when I have a baby? I will cuddle and love that little being to death…I know that…but is that wrong?
What do you think makes a social child? I like to believe that it has to do with early on making sure that he/she gets passed around to enough people, and that mommy and daddy aren’t the only ones in their lives. What do you think? Or do you think it’s just in the personality of the child? Nature vs. Nurture?
For now I don’t see anything wrong with my Tinkerbell loving her mommy. Who cares if she doesn’t love the dog park? But I know I will feel differently with a child of my own. I would like to put my order in for a baby who sleeps through the night, doesn’t cry much, and is social and pleasant around other people. What do you think? Who do I put this order in to? God? Right now it’s a moot point, and my Tinkerbell and I will remain partners in crime. What are your thoughts on this?
You cannot pick what attributes your children will have. You can end up with a social child or one who is more introverted. All you can do is support them the best you can and love them. You will be a great mother!
And if Tinkerbell is any indication of the love you have to give, I think your children will be perfect 😀
I think raising a child is completely different than raising a dog. I mean, I see how someone might think they are related, but seriously – don’t worry about it!
Each of mom sons has socialized differently. I think the oldest balks the most initially and then forges the social path for his younger siblings. All because they have always had a brother there to break the ice and have their back!
I agree with Jessica. But I also believe that if you’re good in raising a dog, you will definitely be a good parent to your children.
Raising children is a challenge, but the most rewarding job ever. Such a cute blog!!! Come visit sometime!!!
I think that a child is born with a basic personality and, like Sol says, you have to just support them the way they are. My son is extremely cautious and tends to take awhile to warm up to new people and situation. Even new decor in the house can throw him into a state of stress. For example, we got a new shower curtain recently and he cried the first time he had to have a shower after it was changed. We have learned to let him fuss it out of his system and then he is fine. His sister on the other hand is quite outgoing and doesn’t mind trying new things at all! I don’t know how much raising a dog is like raising a kid but I am sure that when you go pick a new pet out of a litter that you notice different personalities there too. Of course you can’t pick your child like you can pick your dog 🙂
I don’t know from experience yet, but I imagine that raising children and dogs are different. That being said, I grew up with a mom who loved us to death. But she actually is totally struggling since both my brother and I graduated college, moved out on our own, became financially independent, found significant others, got married. Doctors have said it’s from too much attachment to her kids – she almost loved us too much (if there is such a thing!). Not saying that you’d do that – but I think it’s incredibly important for mom and dad to still have their own lives, and encourage kids to do the same!
ahh- i feel you here. i’ve had my dog for 15 years. she’s my little angel. and we’ve been with my now husband for eight of those years, so she’s a daddy’s girl now, too 🙂 and she does NOT like her butt sniffed, so the dog park- not so much in the rotation!
i think it’s vastly different. as much as we love our little princesses, a child is much different. they can indicate and understand at such a young age- you’ll be astounded. and i totally agree that the best way to start off is to pass that little bundle on to whoever is next in line to coddle, coo and cradle. it works, from what i’ve seen with my two nephews!
you’re going to be great, just for asking the question 🙂
Interesting post! I think you will be a great mother but yes it is true that as a parent we can only support and raise our children to the best our ability, they do come with their own personalities. My son is a very strong willed little boy and he have a tendency to be shy to strangers at first but then quickly warm up.
Happy SITS Tuesday.
The Hubs and I have two little fur babies that we call our “kids”. If what you say is true, then I am stacking up to be the disciplinarian. Maybe how we treat our pets is more revealing about our own personalities.
I always thought I’d be the disciplinarian but it turns out it might be The Captain! lol
I think its not exactly what raising a kid is like, but its a good start to responsibility! Marmot and I take our fur-babies so much more seriously than most people do, so we joke (hope?) that we’re getting good a responsibilities! lol
I didn’t get one of the extra social babies – I got one of the leg hangers. I wish I knew how to help her be more confident. At the same time, she’s 14 months old, so I don’t know that there’s much I can do at this point. Maybe I should bring her to the doc park? 😉 She loves the vuff-vuffs!
Raising a kid can in no way compare to raising a dog. My first was a total Mommy-only baby. Passing her around to others was NOT going to happen (her choice, not mine) but now, at almost 4 years old she is a social butterfly in the making.
I think a lot of it will have to do with their own unique personalities. You can push and expose your kid to tons of adventures and opportunities and STILL get a wuss. Or you can baby them and shelter them to the extreme and get a rebel.
You just never know 🙂
I really think that it is just like having a girly girl or a tomboy. You can influence to a bit….but they are who they are.
So, the only correlation I have ever drawn between these two is discipline and potty training. I have neices who are nearly 4 and aren’t potty trained. I always tell my husband, if we taught our dog to go only outside in less than 6 months, cetainly a Kid can catch on just as quickly.
As far as personalities, I think it really has more to do with how he/she views Mom and Dad interacting with people.
If only potty training were that easy with children. lol.
Unfortunately potty training a pet is significantly easier then training a child. Or perhaps I should say some children 🙂 While I do believe that a child will often choose a path in life based on how their parents raise them I also believe that they are born with their basic personalities already formed. Both my husband and I are outgoing people and although we are not outright risk takers we are not overly cautious and do not mind trying new things but our eldest is highly stressed by new people, situations and items in his life. And no, he is not autistic or have any other disorder that would be the cause of the stress. He just likes his life to be predictable.
I don’t mean this to sound cynical, but as a teacher, what I’ve experienced is this–if a parent actually cares about her child, that child will be ok (the cynical part comes from the many parents who don’t care, and I can’t even tell you how crazy that makes me) All kids are different–just ask my own mother, she’ll tell you that she super didn’t get what she bargained for (Can you say crazy OCD at age four? Yep, that was me!) But the main thing is that you are thinking about parenting skills already. You clearly care about raising a happy, well-adjusted son or daughter. That will mean the world to the well being of your future child.
I have no words of wisdom other than to offer comfort that I share your same situation! Our pup is a 65lb boxer so when we go to the dog park it is quite mortifying when she is Miss Shy Girl. The same thoughts have echoed in my mind about future children and the possibility of babying them to much. All I can tell myself is that being aware of how we treat our fur babies and how we want to treat kids is a step in the right direction. There might be hope for us, Jen!