Although they are spelled the same, the words Fine and FINE have very different meanings depending how they are used. That’s right men, women have their own definitions of this word, and if you want to be a happy man, you will learn quickly which meaning your wife or girlfriend is using.Women, be careful using these words, because for some reason men are a bit slow in their learning and will more often than not fail to know your true meaning behind the word.
Let’s give some examples.
It’s your friends birthday and you are out celebrating. You start feeling tired and find that another one of your friends is willing to give you a ride home. You tell your husband you’d like to go, and he says he wants to stay. You see he is having a good time, and feel like he shouldn’t have to leave because you want to….so you say….It’s fine if you stay…and he does.
Your Grandfather just died and you just returned from his funeral. You are very sad, but it’s your friends birthday so you decide to go out and celebrate with them. You realize you just aren’t having fun, and want to go home. You tell your husband you are ready to go and he says he wants to stay…you huff a bit…and when he asks if you care if he stays you say….No really it’s FINE…stay.
Do you see the difference? I am not sure why it’s a hard concept for men. Maybe it’s because women are more selfless beings and men are more selfish, but there has to be something in their heads that tells them when it’s really not FINE. My husband isn’t the best at getting the concept. My girlfriend next door jokes that she is going to have a code to help him out next time we are in a situation where it’s really not fine vs. when it really is.
Men may ask…but why don’t you just say that it’s not fine? Well I will give you a bit of a secret guys. Sometimes women just are tired of being the bitch. Sometimes we just wish you’d come to the decision yourselves. That what you want to do at that moment is just not fine, and we just want you to not think about yourselves for a second and to think about us.
My husband tells me I play Jedi mind games with him, and I honestly don’t think I am that hard to figure out. Maybe the “what goes around comes around” technique is appropriate…next time he is sick in bed…instead of offering him tea and such I will tell him…Hey, I think I’m going to go out with my friends…I just don’t feel like sitting in just because you are. Do you think that will go over well?
I started this post with the idea that I wanted to tell women to just tell their husbands how they feel and not play those games. But it seems it didn’t turn out that way. I guess it just goes back to my previous wifey 101 post with the theme “I want you to WANT to do the dishes”. In this case we just WANT you to want to make the right choices…and that right choice is doing what we want/need you to do. A happy wife is a happy husband:)
I was trying to be nice about it hun! lol You are right…you do suck at it!
Unbelievable how similar men are to one another. Different species altogether. I have this same issue all the dang time. Even when I try to be straight forward it STILL doesn’t sink in. I was joking the other day I should make index cards and file them in a box for the significant other so he knows what to do and what to say and not screw it all up…I was joking…but now I am thinking it might not be a bad idea. lol.
“My husband isn’t the best at getting the concept.”
I suck at it, plain and simple.
Sorry Jen, I’ve got to agree with your husband. I’m not good at that subtle stuff either. If I want to leave someplace and I want him to go with me then I tell him that. Saying, “No, it’s not fine, I really would like you to go home with me.” saves wear and tear all around.
Thanks for comment Kathie! But reading “I agree with your husband” is tough to take! I guess I hate being the bully and don’t like to “make him” do anything. Sometimes I just wish his actions were less forced…and more thoughtful! 🙂
My adolescent boys are already telling me that I speak a different language than them =)